bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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