so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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