we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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