First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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