And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it because I queefed?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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