If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize