omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She bit a glass in half.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
