I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize