so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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