So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize