i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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