Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
