it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
