When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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