laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
