they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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