escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
