Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
how does that bad decision feel?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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