I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
