I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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