"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
