a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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