oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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