What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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