Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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