U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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