question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
