$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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