Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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