I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
