he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
