Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
