He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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