Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
