What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So squirting runs in the family.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
