she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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