ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
