Im at strip club and am horny
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
