erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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