D3 body, D1 cock
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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