If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
