she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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