yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
