her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
