I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
