JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
