Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
