yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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