Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize