I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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