Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
