toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize