So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
