Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
