Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
