Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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