There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
