Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
