You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
