I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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