im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All the doctor said was why
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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