Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
