escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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