i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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