I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
