He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
