he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
